I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause. I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each Pokemon to understand, the power that's inside.


So Pokemon Go has been released, an app that has confirmed my life-long suspicions that we do indeed share our world with everyone's favourite Japanese collectable critters.

But I'm stuck with one of the only smartphones that can't play it.

Despite my lack of compatible software, I have been desperate to join in the wave of mass collective nostalgia which has gripped the world.

I want BuzzFeed to write online stories about me injuring myself while desperately trying to catch a Jigglypuff.

I want Nintendo to have all my personal privacy data.

I want passersby to glare at me in confusion as I stare misty-eyed at an onyx in the middle of Clapham Junction.

I tried going around throwing tennis balls at stray foxes but somehow it's just not the same.

So finally, I've dug out my old Gameboy, restarted the game, named my sibling a rude word, and jumped once more into the crazy world of fictional animal combat.

Although I might not have the latest technology, I do get a lovely glow of smugness sat next to a 'Go-er' , I'm not sure if a Pokemon Go collective noun has been established yet, knowing that I'm playing the original version of the game.

It feels a bit like rocking up next to someone listening to music on an iPod before whipping out a gramophone.

So, to anyone else with a Windows phone, let's not let our past phone purchases ostracise us, let's one up these Pokemon noobs by digging out old Gameboys.

And then can someone trade we me, cos I really need to get an Alakazam.